Why are Pronouns Important
The power of short, simple words can make Beatitudes safer and empower LGBTQ+ residents.
First of all, what is LGBTQIA+?
This is an abbreviation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and more These terms are used to describe a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity.
What does it Matter?
Pronouns affirm gender identities and create safe spaces for residents, while, while addressing someone by the wrong name or misgendering them, by using incorrect pronouns, can feel disrespectful, harmful, and even threatening to a gender-diverse person. Misgendering results in marginalization and communicates that a person’s identity is not seen as important.
When correct names and pronouns are used, statistics show that suicide rates drop, depression decreases, while trust and feelings of belonging increase. It’s also a sign of respect.
Embracing these pronouns, however, doesn’t come easily to everyone. Some residents may want to be supportive but may feel apprehensive about asking for pronouns—or they may avoid the topic all together for fear of offending someone.
It’s normal to have questions. Peggy Roberts and David Ragan are both willing to offer themselves as a resource. To help increase your understanding, here are answers to some common questions about gender identity:
Do I have to share my pronouns?
Not everyone is comfortable sharing their pronouns, including transgender, nonbinary, or questioning folks who might not be out yet. Others might object to sharing for any number of personal reasons. Respect those who offer to share their pronouns and those who do not. No one should be forced to comply, as long as they simply skip the practice and do not mock or belittle it.
They/them pronouns are hard for me. What should I know?
The use of the singular “they” can be traced as far back as 1386, in Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. Today, plural pronouns are becoming more widely accepted as gender-neutral singular pronouns. It’s grammatically correct to use singular “they” to refer a person of unknown gender or to a nonbinary person who does not feel gendered pronouns work for them.
Examples in everyday use might be “They are not feeling well today.” “They are going to meet me in the Bistro.” “I don’t know where They live.”
Do only LGBTQ+ people share and use correct pronouns?
No. Pronouns are for everyone. It’s how we identify ourselves. For example: “She’s our pastor. Her name is Peggy. She makes herself available.”
What if I make a mistake?
Apologize briefly and correct yourself. For example, “I was saying to someone that he’s a really good—sorry, she—that she was a really good painter.”
Don’t over-apologize. Over-apologizing could sound like, “Oh gosh I am so so sorry, I really am. I know it’s wrong, and this must happen all the time. Gosh pronouns are so difficult!” When you over-apologize, you’ve made the moment about your feelings, when pronouns are really about paying attention to the other person; and you turn a simple error, into a potentially embarrassing situation.
Here is a list of the most common pronouns. Always try to use the pronouns of the individual once they have told you what pronouns they prefer. It’s a show of respect.
Subjective Objective Possessive Reflexive
He Him His & His Himself
She Her Her & Hers Herself
They Them Their & Theirs Themselves
Is there a difference between sex and gender?
Yes, there is a difference!
Sex can be referred to as a label for the biological characteristics of a person, for example, the sex chromosomes that a person has, their hormones, and their reproductive organs. Gender is the social and cultural characteristics of a person, such as how they dress, their haircut, their name, and their pronouns. Gender is also a societal and legal construct that affects a person’s civic rights in society.
Respect is at the core of everything we do as a community. And using someone’s preferred pronouns is a crucial part of showing that respect. Be an ally by sharing your pronouns and accepting those around you just the way they are.
